Our newest series, A Day In The Life, unpacks the raw passion our writers have for music. Intricately permeating every moment of our day, we dissect and detail the ways in which music guides us as people.
I carry a few pairs of cheap earbuds at all times. I don’t see a point in getting something nice when I know I’m going to break or lose them in a few weeks anyways, best case scenario.
This is a day in the life of an overly-critical curt postgraduate, and that’s before you throw on the body dysmorphia and anxiety disorder.
The covers long kicked off the bed, I wake up a sweaty mess from another night of little sleep and play my own game of “Where’s Waldo” while checking for new scratches. I grab my iPhone, pop my meds, put in the earbuds and scroll through my library for something that’ll help lull my frantic mind into a trance:
Jonah Christian “Found the Gold”
Uncurl from a ball and grudgingly get ready for a new day, muttering a string of those choice four letter words Mamet loves so much. Breakfast, shower, brush teeth. I float in the repetitious nature of my routine, delaying the moment I look in the mirror:
“RAY CHARLES FEELS ME TO” – DJ Kenn
Bangs to distract from my giant crooked beak, beanie pulled down as far as possible to try and hide my mismatched eyes, a scarf to cover my asymmetric jaw, but at least my outfit doesn’t clash and I like my shoes. I pause at the door to verify my keys are in my pocket five times. I turn the volume up to full and try to force down the nerves:
“Be Your Girl (Kaytranada Edition)” – Teedra Moses
I start to feel okay on the way to my lecture, until I pass someone on the sidewalk; I turn into a bag of popcorn in the microwave, nerves exploding and jumping all over, The more people around, the faster it gets. I lower my gaze, avoid eye contact and focus on the music, that bass and that beat switch I adore:
“Stutter” – Durkin + SevnthWonder
I stand back from the rest of the class and avoid all the pre-lecture conversation. My small-talk shields are activated. Once the lecture begins it’s hard to fade into the walls when you’re such an opinionated loud mouth. I start to feel a pounding on my temples as I ignore any attention I might draw to myself:
“Be Quiet” – Falcons
I head back home for lunch. I bask in the feeling of relief as I close myself off into a small room and stuff my face, even if this always includes a disgusting raw vegan gluten-free protein shake:
“Bar Harbor” – Lindsay Lowend
Now it’s time to go to the gym, the ugliest part of my day. I can’t help but wonder why everyone else looks so fit and put together. Who bothers to put in hair gel when they’re going to the gym anyways?! I try to shut everything out, blast a fast tempo, and do more sets:
“All of the Lights (Ryan Hemsworth Mad As Hell Remix)” – Kanye West
I walk back home and cook another meal. The bubbling of the water and simmering of the vegetables join with the soundscape. I try to keep from thinking about all the work I need to get done the following day, week, month and all the work I should’ve finished today and didn’t:
“tables and chairs” – pools
I realise it’s a Friday and bemoan the fact that I should try to be social. I put on something more upbeat to help hype myself up. I also do some stretches so that when I do venture out, I can quickly duck and avoid appearing in the background of some random person’s selfie:
“Just A Little While (Summer Occasion Remix)” – Janet Jackson
I manage to spend about two hours in a crowded bar standing with some of my friends like a wet blanket sopping with inappropriate and absurd remarks. My tank is now empty. It’s time to disappear without saying goodbye, hurry back home, crawl into bed and wait until my heartbeat and mind slow down enough so that I can sleep.
“Long Time No See (feat. Atu)” -Ta-ku